Random Musings of an Uninspired Muse.

Do you know what it feels like to severely disappoint someone who thinks, or thought the world of you? Or, do you know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of that disappointment? Like, when you first found out that the Power Rangers didnt actually do their own moves or that your favourite movie hero had acted in something terrible. I dont know. I think that being on the giving end of that disappointment is ten times worse. Sometimes, whenever it comes to celebrities and stuff they dont care what they do to their fans, because you know, they're still getting paid. But when you conciously know that someone thinks less of you because of something you've said or done, thats a guilt and a self-depreciation you have to live with for the rest of your life.

And like, you feel like you have to redeem yourself but deep down you know that whats been done has been done and that no matter what you do theres that remembrance in the back of the other person's head reminding them that you've done whatever it is that you did. That trust in that area is gone, possibly forever.

Lately it feels like I've been on the giving end of that disappointment more often than not. I want a time machine where I can go back and right all of my wrongs, but thats a fool's wish and I know it. I suppose our mistakes make us or break us, and I just hope that one day I dont make the ultimate mistake and ruin everything thats gone right in my life.

I know I've disappointed you. I wish I could take back everything I said. Im sorry.